Faith Perspectives on Growing Older

There is no shortage of articles on growing older these days, and the trend will undoubtably continue to grow as we "boomers" hit retirement. I regularly read the AARP "Bulletin," and always find something useful or pertinent for my own life.

However, I just read a simple article on growing older that was almost poetic. It was written by Fr. Patrick Howell, SJ, from whom I had the pleasure of taking a few classes a couple of years ago. The short article was published in the Seattle Times on 7/13, and you can find it in its entirety here.

Fr. Howell is the religious superior of a community of 30 Jesuits, and what makes the article very interesting is that it describes the question of growing older in his community -- 14 of whom are older than 70 years of age. I appreciated the faith-centered questions he touches on in his brief article.

...within my first month as rector, I was at the University of Washington Medical Center with one of our men when he received a diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer. He accepted it with great equanimity and a profound spiritual peace. I was moved and edified.

From then on, he and I had many conversations about palliative medicine, hospice care and how long he could continue as a pastor in the Catholic parish he served. He was a planner and an organizer, so before long several parishioners had stepped up to assist him in his final days. The people he had helped now reversed roles and reached out in love and compassion to their pastor....

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...At a Jesuit Superiors Colloquium at Santa Clara two weeks ago, a nurse who works extensively in Jesuit health care in New England suggested five benchmarks for when a man needed to move to one of our province-assisted care facilities, which in our case is located in Spokane. These signposts were: 1) lack of personal hygiene, 2) confusion over medications, 3) falling and instability, 4) increasing frailty, and 5) hoarding.

"Hoarding." Really? The nurse explained that hoarding could take any number of forms: stacking up endless magazines for reading someday, squirreling money away in books or other hidden locations, gobbling down a box of chocolates in one setting, and so forth. It can be a sign of insecurity, emptiness or even depression....

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...Fortunately, our Jesuits are bound together by shared beliefs and a profound grasp of the Jesuit mantra of "seeing God in all things," even in suffering and death. Together we offer emotional, physical and spiritual help. Together we assist, pray for and anoint with blessing a brother in his final moments.

These attitudes which helped my brother Jesuits accept their own mortality are, of course, not unique to us. Trusting in God doesn't eradicate fear of death, but it shifts our focus to the graces received throughout our lives and to the faces of people who have loved us — no matter what. It may help us bring resolution to unfinished business and forgiveness for past injuries. It allows us to live the moment more fully and to accept the vicissitudes of life with grace and humor, despite the seeming indignities that advancing age may bring...

Joan and I had a discussion the other evening that touched on the fact that we're both nearing retirement age... what will soon happen in our lives? How do we want to live out the time we have left? We've spent some time talking about this before in connection with end-of-life questions [in fact, we spent some time filling out a simple and VERY helpful little form that's put together by Aging With Dignity, called Five Wishes., and I highly recommend it]. But end-of-life questions are just part of the continuum of issues that we face when we get older, and a great many of them are also faith questions.

Ordaining Women?

I must admit that I write about this topic with a bit of trepidation; I have something to lose. But I do not believe this to be an academic topic. Certainly it isn't for me.

Not long ago, on Crystal's blog, a very interesting exchange showed up between Sara Butler and Fr. Robert Egan, SJ., over the question of women's ordination. It's an old exchange, but I missed it when it first occurred. Ms. Butler is a professor of dogmatic theology at St. Joseph's Seminary in New York, and is the author of a book on this topic, "The Catholic Priesthood and Women," in which the author concluded that the Vatican's position deserves our faithful consent. It appears that Fr. Egan does not agree, though he is careful to frame his words as a critique of the position, and he respectfully calls her book "perhaps the fullest and fairest theological treatment we have from those who are opposed to women's ordination."

Crystal's blog (link above) posts the most recent exchange, and also gives a link to Fr. Egan's original criticism, in which he lays out several objections that he feels the Church in general, and the Vatican in particular has not sufficiently addressed. I found this link to be most informative and persuasive, and would recommend it highly.

I don't want to rehash what is already available through the links above. It is an old conversation, and one that is (sadly) "officially closed." However, as I remarked above, to me this is not a mere academic issue.

I remember over twenty years ago, before I was ordained a deacon in 1989, my wife Joan and I were required to see a marriage therapist as part of the formation process (as were all of the deacon candidate couples). During our conversation with the therapist, Joan expressed something I hadn't ever heard before, at least not that clearly. She stated that she didn't really understand why I wanted to be a part of something that clearly discriminated against women. Now, I had known that she felt ordination (priesthood or diaconate) should be open to women, but she had never expressed her concerns so personally.

I was stunned, actually. Ever since considering the question seriously in the early 70's, I have felt that ordination should be open to women. But I also have experienced from a very early time a serious personal calling toward ministry, and finally this was crystalizing in my diaconate formation. (Mind you, I had already worked full-time for the Church since graduation from college in 1969.) But my reaction to Joan's statement was immediate and unconditional, and I voiced it: if she felt that strongly about this, so much that it was a barrier in our marriage, then I did not want to go any further in the formation process. Period.

A long and fruitful conversation ensued, and suffice it to say that we both understood each other better, and she did feel fine about my being ordained. But of course, that didn't change her opinion about the ordination of women: that it was discrimination, however you looked at it.

At one time I actually thought that Vatican II was just the beginning of something within our Catholic Church that would bring even greater changes, including opening up the priesthood to married men and women both. I believed that I might see those changes in my lifetime. But of course that does seem extremely unlikely at present. When Pope John Paul II in 1994 issued his apostolic letter "Ordinatio sacerdotalis" (On Reserving Priestly Ordination to Men Alone), and this teaching was declared to be definitive and the conversation concluded, I know I was not the only one who felt ... well, betrayed might not be the right word, but it does convey the appropriate level of hurt that the heart felt. Ultimately, I have to say that I feel helpless about this. I do not wish to leave the Catholic Church at all, because it is my home. Sometimes you endure what you cannot understand, and live as faithfully as you can. When pressed, of course I have tried to express the Church's teaching, but it's hard to do it without a heartfelt conviction. I value the exchange between Ms. Butler and Fr. Egan, because it enables me to speak about this issue more crisply.

Where this is all going is that in April, an old friend from my days in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, Diane Whalen, was noted in the Seattle Times newspaper: "State's 1st female priest by Roman Catholic Womenpriests," -- and this is her picture:



I was not there in Olympia for the ordination; I was in Africa, visiting our sister parish in Namitembo. I can say very honestly that I am very happy for Diane. Not happy that she has been excommunicated as a result of her actions, of course. But just look at her picture. I recognize that expression... she's unable to surpress a grin. She's clearly a very happy woman. I spoke with her a year ago, after her ordination to the (transitional) diaconate, and she was full of life. She was already experiencing the joy of ministering in a new way, especially to people who were on the margins of our Church.

You know, I would have wanted to be present at her ordination. But from what I've read most recently, such an action might have brought me an automatic excommunication as well. I haven't exactly seen that in what I've read -- excommunication is a very serious thing! However, I know that "the ax has fallen" before in the U.S., for ordained individuals who visibly supported women's ordination. See the write-up on Roy Bourgeois, a Maryknoll priest who attended such an ordination back East. And the recent pronouncement on this issue (see Crystal's original post) clearly says that our Church is drawing a harder line.